Prizes

Late last week, my prizes arrived from the San Francisco Giants. They didn't have any Tim Lincecum signed baseballs to give away...or at least that's what they told me...so we made do with a ball autographed by Matt Cain, the Giants' other pitching ace.

(AP Photo/ George Nikitin)

(No, his signature isn't worth nearly as much.) They also threw in a couple of "extras".

But let's back up. Because the real gift came a few days after Halloween when it was announced that on the day prior to Halloween, our adored Mr. Lincecum was stopped for speeding in his Mercedes on the way up to see his dad up in Washington state. That might not have been so newsworthy (it was hardly newsworthy anyway) if the officer hadn't been smacked in the face with the stench of marijuana and made The Freak had over his little stash and his pipe.

(AP Photo/Tony Avelar)

Now, I have to admit that I don't care a lot about Timmy's personal habits. I hear he doesn't shower very often either. I doubt I'd find that appealing. He was not charged with driving while intoxicated. Either he gave the officer and autograph and got out of that one or he really wasn't. It was 8:30 in the morning, after all. But who knows. There's certainly a contingent out there that says, "Duh, of course Timmy's a stoner."

I don't know. I don't really care. BUT, there's never a time when I care more about that sort of stuff more than when Smunch picks up the sports page in the morning. Like most second graders, he can read and a headline that says, San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum faces pot charges in Washington is bound to peak his interest more than just a little. It meant a long, drawn out conversation about drugs and why Timmy made a big mistake. I resent having to have that conversation first thing in the morning. I can't help it. Timmy, do what you want, but please keep your newsworthiness to your pitching.

So, when my package from San Francisco arrived with a grey, knit beanie hat in it, I immediately dubbed it the "stoner beanie". You'll see why if you take a look at the picture below, which Daddy took last year at FanFest.Mine looks just like this, except with a little SF logo on the front. And I look just like Timmy when I wear it.Now all I need is some weed...oh, and a Mercedes to go with it.